Mood: Daily Needs
Listening to: Morning After Dark- Timberland
Watching: The Wallflower
I can't say I was exactly popular as a child I lived out in the country most of my childhood and my life. Most people that I knew where miles away so I never really had anyone to play with, sure I had my older brother and sister but then they were teenagers they didn't want nothging to do with me.....so what is a child to do when no one is around wanting anything to do with her.....well she reads and would have odd notions of things really. I was always having these ideas and imagination that some adults would think is odd for a child my age to think like how I thought that some things that would be scary for kids my age were not to me, that I saw things in a different ways that others may say is a bit "wrong" "not right in the head". Some would see me in my room reading or outside just playing by myself, with this "blank face" as my mom would tell me, she said that she never really could tell what I was thinking about but she knew I was a cheerful child for when ever I was outside I would go talk to the horses we have and we still have them to this day or my dad who would be working around the house. Hmmmm..........I guess you could say the horses were my friends but they still couldn't play with me since well they were huge.
As winter would come I would get excited, winter is one of my favorite season next to fall. I don't know what its about winter that fascinated me as a child, but if you live out in the country and just stand out there.....it was total silnce......nothing is moving only the snow that fell only silnce, everything around was dead and that's when I fist saw him......
he stood in the trees very tall nearly touch the branch, his long black sender body was hunched over a bit. Wearing a top hat that looked to be covered in stitches and old patches. His head and large claws where as white as the freshly fallen snow but he didn't have eyes and it scared me cause I couldn't tell what hew was thinking, he only had these stitches that form into a wide grin that only had a dark and worse intent. He didn't move he only stood there staring at me......I didn't know what to do I was scared and could move and when I blinked he was in front of me totaly hunched down his face right in front of mine. I could faintly hear a giggle that was insane and a hiss that was so empty. I teared up so badly wanting him to go away for I didn't understand him or what he wanted, it just terrifed me. I then closed my eyes hoping he just leave only to feel him coil around me, as it became more hard to breath the fear was taking me over
I snap my eyes open and see that he was gone and back standing in the trees, he seemed.......angry a bit testy.
"Hey!~ You, what are you doing?~"
I was confused to where the voice was coming from looking around a bit I didn't see anything and I turn to see this odd creature. He was runing twards me......He was a lanky fellow, his fur was a dark blue and had neon green and blue speckles on his chest, striped tail, neon blue tipped dog ears and neon green paws. And at first looks I tough he looked like a girl With the scarf and pants he was wearing but no when he was yelling and coming closer he had the voice and body of a 16 year old boy. When he finally got to me he just smiled with a wild but kind grin "hey I was looking for you~". I looked up at him oddly and point to myself
"yeah you, I wanted to know if you wanted to play since it's nice out with all this snow~" hold his pawed hand out "so what do you say?~"
I looked at his hand and look to the figure in the trees as he stared at us. I noded and slowly take his hand it was warm and I could feel all my fears slowly go away.....I looked up to him and slowly smiled.
"there you go!~ There's that smile~" he smiled with me and leads me back to where my house was "My name is Toxic by the way~" smiles down at me showing his toxic green colored teeth. I only giggled and laughed a bit when seeing them. Toxic was in my life for a long time and I didn't know for a while that he was my imgainary friend till my mom was smiling at me when I intorduced her to Toxic
"Well he seems like a nice boy Carlie why don't you go play outside with him?" she washes the dishes
"ok mom" as I go outside my dad was sitting at the table reading the paper and he asked my mom "who was she talking about Lora?" my mom looked to him a bit "oh, she has an imaginary friend now, quiet an odd one as she described him" my dad chuckled "well she's a creative kid"
I was a bit sad my family or anybody I knew couldn't see Toxic.....or the figure that stayed in the forest and at times he be in the shadows, just watching me. Sadly the figure scared me and I didn't want anything to do with him even when he would get close enough I would just freeze up in fright. But Toxic would come to me and take my hand smiling and everything seem to feel better that I wasn't so alone in life any more. But as I slowly got older the figure would get closer and closer I finally just one day waited for him to come up to me as I was reading, when I looked up from my book there he was his face right in front of me "........Hello....."
He doesn't say anything just stay silent. ".....do you have a name?" still doesn't responed. I just stared at him for the longest of time till I got my paint brush out and dipped it in the black paint. I then gently put my hand on his cheek and I could feel the coldness of his skin.......it feel like the winter I fist saw him. Slowly I start to paint him eyes that I though would fit him, when finished I rubbed my hands together and breath into them like you would do when your hands are cold, then put them on his thorat for a moment and gently let go. "I give you eyes to see the world that's around.....I'm sorry to say its probably still dark as it was before.....and I gave you a bit of my voice so that you are able to speak....even if it is nasty or good....your free now"
he slowly stands up still a bit hunch as he stares down at me with his now insane eyes, still as slient as freshly fallen snow. I go back to reading as he just stares on only to spaek up to him "since you don't have a name I'll give you one.....I think I will call you....Jim" there was a small flick of emotion that came to his face but quickly went away and so did he. I smiled a bit as I read, feeling Toxic smile behind me
"Your are different from most~ you try to understand the thing that most would find horific or ill minded and see that sometimes there just misunderstood~"